I'd like to add a clarification on my April 19th post...the "if/then" post.
I realize that not everyone is inside my head (thank goodness...for both of us). I'd want to fill in a tiny gap and let you know that the girl band, the Indigo Girls, were the real impetus for that post. You see, years ago, when I was a brand new Christian, the Indigo Girls became a musical phenom. Two of my good friends who sang beautifully together called themselves the Indigo Squirrels. I speak for myself, but I'm pretty sure I wasn't alone in my love for their harmonies. Word was, among the Christian circles, that they were Christians. We certainly combed their lyrics for any sign of Jesus.
One day someone informed me that she thought they were gay women. My response?
"No way! They can't be. They're Christians."
Thus began my long struggle to come to the surface. My post may have sounded as if I was being unkind to inflexible Christians who may believe that one cannot be gay, in love with God, and remain in his will. Or maybe it sounded like I was being unfair to others who believe that if you're a gay Christian it is a betrayal of your very identity as a homosexual because Christianity emboldens and promulgates prejudice and even violence against gays.
But really, I was speaking of me. I am the one who has said "if you're Christian, you can't be gay." I've thought it impossible to be both at once. My perspective began to be altered in 1992 when I first admitted to God that I had fallen madly in love with another woman. My perspective has gradually been changed over time. Like so many things, I have found it impossible to remain rigid and inflexible with regards to oh so many things out of my control.
I thought I'd clear that up. I am intimately acquainted with every possible argument against homosexuality. I'm just saying that no one can argue the point better.
By the way, both girls of the Indigo Girls band are gay. But they are not together as many have surmised. They have become representatives of the gay community. They have several songs that speak powerfully about being gay in our world today...but really, their songs are about life. Now, for your listening entertainment...the Indigo Girls... (can you find Jesus?)
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Exploration of spirituality, relationships, gender, orientation, politics, with alot of humor...basically whatever I feel like writing about.
Blog Archive
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2008
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April 2008
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- moving in with parents...is it all it's cracked up...
- a little addendum
- CUTE! (don't tell her I said so)
- sugar pet lover doll
- A Rainer Maria Rilke Poem
- If you're ________, then you can't be _________ (C...
- I'm glad you asked
- Barack Obama's Philadelphia speech on racism
- Art & Life...Separate?
- Analyze This
- Poetry Slams & Other Dreams
- Men at Work
- "There's something funny about her"
What am I talking about?
There's something to be said about hard places, rocks and being stuck between them. Some people become stronger for the struggle - good things like patience and endurance grow while trapped between injustice and justice. Still, others simply saw off their arm in lieu of dying trapped and alone in the wilderness.
I think I need to stay in the struggle, because I think that is where we may finally see a very unpopular truth...that injustice may be the place we learn the most about ourselves~ on both the mean and right sides of the injustice. Think about it. Still, my God-given prerogative* is to also confront social injustice. One way is to write. It's one thing I can do.
I think I need to stay in the struggle, because I think that is where we may finally see a very unpopular truth...that injustice may be the place we learn the most about ourselves~ on both the mean and right sides of the injustice. Think about it. Still, my God-given prerogative* is to also confront social injustice. One way is to write. It's one thing I can do.
Poetry for Those So Inclined to Read
Song of Us
Broken hearts
plucked like
strings on and old guitar~
played,
tuned,
busted ragged
and hanging
at their tenuous best.
Careless
Careless hand,
waving all in the wrong
directions.
Fingers framing,
always, the backside of
opportunity-
gleefully
glad-handing the charlatan;
the promise.
Learn magic
if you must,
to keep you busy-
a little trick or two
to lighten up your
moody disposition.
But don't you
break my heart again!
Not with your wanton reach,
and especially not your grasping.
Species Genus Family Order
Simple words for
simple men.
Complex words for
complex men.
Food for the lion,
shelter for the bird.
Food,
shelter,
hearing,
reading,
"I love you";
The lion and the bird
though never jealous,
are nonetheless
speechless.
And though
not really poorer
for it,
I have not the
words to say why.
Intermingle
Careening, side to side
with flowers and ashes
flying around me,
and I, without remorse
am finding my way.
Some give me a 10% chance.
I, however, raise my hands up
in jubilation; onlookers hold onto me
they raise me up on a wave
and they give me away.
Therefore he takes me up
because I have given in
so that ashes and flowers
lie around us
like a spent wedding party.
My love is weighing me down,
down around his feet,
in the sweet organic dirt of my birth.
I will not want to leave this place,
but he assures me I must.
Creed of the Albino Salamander
You can see what you like
with your steady eyes,
steady as a plank,
determining everything and giving it meaning.
The way you take all of it in
reminds me of a glutton.
Stop eating - your eyes are bigger than you know.
Use your finger like a stick,
quick, before anything hits your intestine.
Don't digest what you see,
just eat and vomit partially digested bits of ideas.
Don't follow the subtlety of what you can't see
through to its natural conclusion --
constrict -
depress -
don't put in anything real and complete.
Follow that hand with your eyes -
- no one else is observing this -
just as it reaches that place of discomfort,
turn away. Avoid guilt by association.
You cannot follow even the shadow, you cannot.
In that nether region is heresy and hearsay.
Stick with what you have heard,
you cannot know more or you would explode.
Avert your eyes, though you are blind,
especially when frightened.
Don't see scary things
so you can't know if you'll survive.
Keep your translucent hands up to block your blind eyes.
Keep still
Stay invisible
Don't make sudden movements
and, for God's sake,
don't say a word.
If you saw something different than what you know
just tell them you're blind
or don't talk at all.
The Great Plunge
When the air returned to my lungs
and my head got off the anecdotal ferris wheel,
dirty footprints led the way ---
"Good ridance"
I remarked to no one in particular.
There was no better time
to take inventory ---
count out authentic
(in lieu of habit and proxy)
like crisp dollar bills ---
and come up,
not just breathing again
but grabbing tight
holding on, and screaming airlessly
(while the ground flew out from under me)
"I have no idea why(?),
but give me more!"
Looking at me then
you would have thought
I owned the bank
cashed it all in,
bought the circus and
hung the moon.
But I straddled these empires
one hand holding the key
the other holding me.
Ancient Genes
You smell like the earth,
You smell like round and forever,
You smell of everything bright and dappled,
of crimson,
of India textiles,
and rain--
rain that's settled on waking grasses,
And you smell like that even in my head,
even when you've gone,
even when I've never met you.
You smell like wild strawberries,
You smell like my mother's milk,
You smell of gravel under my foot,
of smoke off a cathedral candle
and unpretentious incense
permeating, walking out with me,
And you smell like this
in my memory,
in my future,
my imagination,
in my skin and in my hair.
You smell like love's sweat,
You smell like old browned book pages,
You smell of everything that sits empty in my stomach,
of the dirt & rock & water of my mountain trail,
And you smell like
Ghandi,
Mother Teresa,
Johnny Depp--
You smell like late night,
minus the forgetting and the hangover,
just every part of me wrapped around you.
You smell like what I want--
What I want to call right,
want to call safe
and real,
salt and stone--Home.
I want you to waft and
settle into the fabric of my clothes,
and my skin's fingers can rest
even though there's no touching,
no speaking in your ear
like Saturday morning,
like NPR,
like laughing and fighting,
And even if I can't taste your trust,
your promise,
your electric and metallic
sweet self.
I want the idea of you
to fill the air around my head--
and I will take you in deeply,
move my hands to my face
in an act of spiritual consolation and grief
I will bring you close to me
I will let you settle on me
I will carry you around
like through the streets,
through the ancient paths
of Israel.
Stay with me now,
not so lightly --like the outside on a visitor,
like pine & cedar,
like clay resting in my fingers--until I get used to this,
until your familiarity nearly sounds.
You smell like ancient objects,
You smell like grandpa's garage,
You smell of a Bedouin's tent,
of belief,
of darkness without fear,
and skin--skin,
carrying the scent of water & earth &
other things I can't quite place.
(Suggestive of Song of Songs)
Broken hearts
plucked like
strings on and old guitar~
played,
tuned,
busted ragged
and hanging
at their tenuous best.
Careless
Careless hand,
waving all in the wrong
directions.
Fingers framing,
always, the backside of
opportunity-
gleefully
glad-handing the charlatan;
the promise.
Learn magic
if you must,
to keep you busy-
a little trick or two
to lighten up your
moody disposition.
But don't you
break my heart again!
Not with your wanton reach,
and especially not your grasping.
Species Genus Family Order
Simple words for
simple men.
Complex words for
complex men.
Food for the lion,
shelter for the bird.
Food,
shelter,
hearing,
reading,
"I love you";
The lion and the bird
though never jealous,
are nonetheless
speechless.
And though
not really poorer
for it,
I have not the
words to say why.
Intermingle
Careening, side to side
with flowers and ashes
flying around me,
and I, without remorse
am finding my way.
Some give me a 10% chance.
I, however, raise my hands up
in jubilation; onlookers hold onto me
they raise me up on a wave
and they give me away.
Therefore he takes me up
because I have given in
so that ashes and flowers
lie around us
like a spent wedding party.
My love is weighing me down,
down around his feet,
in the sweet organic dirt of my birth.
I will not want to leave this place,
but he assures me I must.
Creed of the Albino Salamander
You can see what you like
with your steady eyes,
steady as a plank,
determining everything and giving it meaning.
The way you take all of it in
reminds me of a glutton.
Stop eating - your eyes are bigger than you know.
Use your finger like a stick,
quick, before anything hits your intestine.
Don't digest what you see,
just eat and vomit partially digested bits of ideas.
Don't follow the subtlety of what you can't see
through to its natural conclusion --
constrict -
depress -
don't put in anything real and complete.
Follow that hand with your eyes -
- no one else is observing this -
just as it reaches that place of discomfort,
turn away. Avoid guilt by association.
You cannot follow even the shadow, you cannot.
In that nether region is heresy and hearsay.
Stick with what you have heard,
you cannot know more or you would explode.
Avert your eyes, though you are blind,
especially when frightened.
Don't see scary things
so you can't know if you'll survive.
Keep your translucent hands up to block your blind eyes.
Keep still
Stay invisible
Don't make sudden movements
and, for God's sake,
don't say a word.
If you saw something different than what you know
just tell them you're blind
or don't talk at all.
The Great Plunge
When the air returned to my lungs
and my head got off the anecdotal ferris wheel,
dirty footprints led the way ---
"Good ridance"
I remarked to no one in particular.
There was no better time
to take inventory ---
count out authentic
(in lieu of habit and proxy)
like crisp dollar bills ---
and come up,
not just breathing again
but grabbing tight
holding on, and screaming airlessly
(while the ground flew out from under me)
"I have no idea why(?),
but give me more!"
Looking at me then
you would have thought
I owned the bank
cashed it all in,
bought the circus and
hung the moon.
But I straddled these empires
one hand holding the key
the other holding me.
Ancient Genes
You smell like the earth,
You smell like round and forever,
You smell of everything bright and dappled,
of crimson,
of India textiles,
and rain--
rain that's settled on waking grasses,
And you smell like that even in my head,
even when you've gone,
even when I've never met you.
You smell like wild strawberries,
You smell like my mother's milk,
You smell of gravel under my foot,
of smoke off a cathedral candle
and unpretentious incense
permeating, walking out with me,
And you smell like this
in my memory,
in my future,
my imagination,
in my skin and in my hair.
You smell like love's sweat,
You smell like old browned book pages,
You smell of everything that sits empty in my stomach,
of the dirt & rock & water of my mountain trail,
And you smell like
Ghandi,
Mother Teresa,
Johnny Depp--
You smell like late night,
minus the forgetting and the hangover,
just every part of me wrapped around you.
You smell like what I want--
What I want to call right,
want to call safe
and real,
salt and stone--Home.
I want you to waft and
settle into the fabric of my clothes,
and my skin's fingers can rest
even though there's no touching,
no speaking in your ear
like Saturday morning,
like NPR,
like laughing and fighting,
And even if I can't taste your trust,
your promise,
your electric and metallic
sweet self.
I want the idea of you
to fill the air around my head--
and I will take you in deeply,
move my hands to my face
in an act of spiritual consolation and grief
I will bring you close to me
I will let you settle on me
I will carry you around
like through the streets,
through the ancient paths
of Israel.
Stay with me now,
not so lightly --like the outside on a visitor,
like pine & cedar,
like clay resting in my fingers--until I get used to this,
until your familiarity nearly sounds.
You smell like ancient objects,
You smell like grandpa's garage,
You smell of a Bedouin's tent,
of belief,
of darkness without fear,
and skin--skin,
carrying the scent of water & earth &
other things I can't quite place.
(Suggestive of Song of Songs)
About Me
- Kimberly
- What do want to know that makes the subjective truth in my words more meaningful?
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